As with any relationship, setting boundaries from the outset is critical.
Setting boundaries
As with all work relationships, dealing with support workers in your home can either lift you up and brighten your day, or leave you feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and stressed. Your happiness and well-being can be greatly affected by the relationships you have with your support worker. If they are cheerful and complete their duties efficiently, your load will be lighter; but if they take advantage of your vulnerability or regularly do not complete tasks, the situation can quickly deteriorate and add more stress to your life.
As with any relationship, setting boundaries from the outset is critical. Many professional carers are trained to maintain professional boundaries; they are aware of the need for confidentiality, respect and reliability. However there are many grey areas that have the potential to become problematic over time. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives, and you or your loved one are the more vulnerable person in this situation; you need to consider how to protect yourself.
Role description or agreement
Your independent support worker will be carrying out their work duties inside the privacy of your own home/on your private property, therefore your personal safety – both physical and emotional – is paramount. Use a written document to specify your main boundaries by listing them as house rules. This list can cover privacy and security as well as your most important values and preferences, such as:
- No smoking or vaping in/around the home
- No private phone calls or texts to be made while at work
- No racial/sexist/religious slurs
- Follow regular nursing rules for all tasks that involve physical contact
- Do not take any photos on the premises
- No sharing of information/photos of any aspect of this job, either in private circles or on any social media network or public forum, without prior permission to do so
- Food/drink is not to be used/taken from the premises for private use
- Do not use the home phone line, computer or vehicle unless owner is present and gives permission, or in cases of emergency, etc.
Your house rules create a structure to cover the safety of self, information, and property. By listing them in a written document and reviewing them with your helper from time to time, you can avoid many of the common potential areas of conflict that can easily creep in.
Consider the following points when writing a work agreement
Physical boundaries: Touch can be healing and comforting or it can be confusing, hurtful, or unwelcome. When physical contact is necessary to carry out a duty, it should be used sparingly. IMake sure you specify exactly what sort of physical contact will be acceptable. If necessary, arrange to have a full training session to cover the duties that involve physical contact. Have a district nurse, close friend or a family member present to affirm what is acceptable contact for each task.
Certain distractions can interfere with the support worker's focus and place your personal safety at risk. It might be important to stipulate that loud music, the use of ear phones, and mobile phones are not permitted. Phones should only be used at work when deemed necessary and no private phone calls or texts should be made while on duty. The support worker should be focused on their duties and responsibilities at all times, unless they are on a break.
Language: is one way of establishing and maintaining boundaries. When you first start working with your support worker, it is good to directly establish with them how you want to be addressed. While most people prefer to use their first name, if it makes you more comfortable you are welcome to ask them to address you more formally by titles such as 'Mr', 'Mrs', or 'Miss'. The use of endearing terms can cross professional boundaries and make people uncomfortable so should be avoided by both you and your support worker. If your support worker uses language or makes comments that make you uncomfortable, it is important to address this with them immediately, and set boundaries around what language is and isn't acceptable within your professional relationships to avoid the behaviour escalating.
Gift giving: can be culturally significant and something you feel is necessary to do for occasions such as Christmas and birthdays. During these special occasions you may like to give a gift to your worker as a token of appreciation for all the support they provide. However, it can sometimes blur the lines between a professional relationship and a personal one. It is up to your own discretion to decide whether the exchanging of gifts is appropriate or not, though we do recommend that you do not give large gifts to your workers. If you feel it is appropriate within the bounds of your professional relationship to give a small gift on certain occasions, and that your worker will be comfortable with this, you are welcome to. If you do not wish to give gifts, or feel uncomfortable doing so, you are not required to.
It is also up to your discretion to decide whether it is appropriate for your support worker to give you a gift on special occasions. If for some reason you feel uncomfortable accepting a gift, it is okay to decline even if you think it may cause offense, as this helps to maintain your professional relationship.
Private information: Home-based jobs can lead to a certain amount of familiarity. Your support worker may be hearing/overhearing, seeing and perhaps even participating in your personal matters and private business (or that of your family or loved ones). They may have access to private areas of the home and even your computer or vehicle. Having clear boundaries about what is acceptable to you will encourage mutual respect, as well as healthy channels of communication.
A confidentiality clause: should be included in any written role agreement. Be aware that this still permits a support worker to share information with certain approved relatives, or with specific medical staff or specialists, if they feel it is in your best interests. Even though it may often be tempting to chat openly about your personal life or problems, it is important to respect your support worker as a health care professional rather than as a friend or a sounding board. Try not to share deeply personal information just because you need to talk. If you have health problems, speak to your doctor. If you have financial problems, speak with a close family member, social worker, or your accountant.
Identity theft and/or data breaching: is becoming a very real danger, and the most vulnerable are at the highest risk of being taken advantage of. Do not share any ‘secret’ information such as bank account details, pin numbers, or passwords. Take necessary steps to tighten your data security if this information is openly available on your computer, or written down somewhere in your home. Be very specific about the rule of no photographs and videos while at work. When part of the job description includes outings or attending social events, the worker should understand that their role in those situations is primarily to assist the client and not for their own participation. They are also not permitted to share any of the details on their own social media networks unless they have specific permission to do so.